Appendix 4: Text Events encoded as Review - Text Making

134 david says "Yes, just did a long descr paragraph. Not great stuff, but a start. Please edit it."
138 Don says "jlt"
142 david says "He could order the food as he walks through the line. I did not do a good job of showing the cafeteria nature of the whole thing."
146 david says "But fiction need not mimick RL, eh? :-)"
147 Don says "God, I hope not."
152 Christine says "I swear I'm going to edit this but I can't see anything."
156 Christine says "Not only do I not see anything but my bottom line has gotten shorter."
157 Don says "Did you type "jed 1?"
158 Jim says "ew."
159 Christine says "I did."
161 <Wed Jun 9 21:06:03 1993 Don> jlt
166 david says "Perhaps Riverside should become Hillside, just to do the Blackbear thing."
167 Don nods, "Hillside sounds good.
168 david says "Fitzgerald wrote about Blackbear Lake, really White Bear Lake."
171 david says "We could have the Old Hillside Cafe instead of The New Riverside Cafe."
172 Don says "That sounds better to me."
307 Jim says "jlt"
308 Jim says "okay. David's paragraph is back."
309 Don says "jlt"
310 Christine says "jed 1"
313 david says "The commune is only in the background."
314 Don says "I like your descriptive paragraph...but tyere is a mob there."
316 david says "They run the cafe, she works there."
317 <Wed Jun 9 21:35:46 1993 Christine> jlt
318 david says "They don't need to be detailed."
319 Christine says "jlt"
320 david says "Any cafe has the people who work there..."
321 Don says "So he walks in and sees the scene you've drawn...goes through the cafeteria line and spots his old girlfriend?"
349 david says "jlt"
350 Don says "jlt"
363 Christine says "Editing is very slow and tedious. I did a lot of microchanges and I thought I might check back with you to see if you thought it was okay."
361 Jim says "jlt"
362 david says "jlt"
363 Christine says "Editing is very slow and tedious. I did a lot of microchanges and I thought I might check back with you to see if you thought it was okay."
364 Christine says "I'm about half done."
366 david says "OK. I haven't been able to read it. I'll give it another try."
367 david says "jlt"
374 david says "All I see is some old conversation from us and the last part of my original paragraph."
375 Jim says "what?"
376 david says "jlt"
377 Jim says "jlt"
378 Jim says "it's there."
379 Don says "jlt"
380 Christine says "Don, you go next."
381 Don says "jlt"
382 Christine says "Is palmer working>?"
383 Jim says "probably not..."
384 Jim says "he has to jed the thing first."
385 Don says "I'm reading a printoput of Christine's edit."
386 Jim says "though he may be closely reading and planning..."
387 Don says "Is there a way to break the paragraph in half?"
388 Jim says "hmm..."
389 Jim says "the best way I can think of would be to copy it, delete the second half of the first para and the first half of the second para."
390 Don says "O.K., let me try that."
391 Christine says "I think I would have started it like this: The dirctions she had given him were clearn enough. Just as he turned off the
freeway exit to the frontage road, the musci on the radio began to play ...."
392 Don says "I would type jcp1 jcp 2?"
393 Jim says "no. jcp 1 2"
394 Don says "jcp 1 2"
395 Jim says "then, assuming the paragraph has filled your lower window, just press return."
397 Don says "jlt"
398 Don says "jlt"
399 Don says "No, there's just one paragraph there...the same one, but no copy."
400 Jim says "jlp"
401 Jim says "hmmm"
402 Jim says "jcp 1 2"
404 Jim says "jlp"
405 Jim says "what the hey?"
406 Don says "maybe if I tried inserting a <CR> at the spot I want?"
407 Jim says "no, Jed would still think of it as one paragraph."
408 Don says "But it would show it as two, no?"
410 Jim says "yeah..."
412 Don says "Okay, I'll try it."
414 Don says "jed 1"
417 david says "jlt"
418 Jim says "palmer, the character for a <cr> is %r"
420 david says "yeah! I got the whole thing, this time."
421 david says "Can I play with paragraph 1 while Don works on two?"
422 Jim nods.
423 david says "Or is Christine playing with one?"
424 Jim says "wait wait..."
425 Jim says "there is no paragraph two yet."
426 david says "I will wait. That is why I have a wood penny whistle with me..."
427 Jim says "jap"
428 <Wed Jun 9 22:09:48 1993 Jim> this should be paragraph 2
429 Jim says "jlp"
430 Jim says "jdp 2"
431 Jim aha's...
432 Jim figures out what's wrong with jed's copy function.
433 david cheers for Jim.
434 david idles a moment.
437 Don says "Boy is that difficult!"
438 Jim says "sorry."
440 Jim says "there were only a few ways I could get MUSH to edit..."
441 Don says "jlt"
442 Jim is still tinkering with the copy function.
443 Don says "is everyone still here?"
444 Christine says "I'm here and rarin' to go!"
445 david sits up and pays closer attention.
446 Don says "Take a look...I wanted to start with him, instead of the description.
447 works by the way."
448 Christine says "jlt"
449 <Wed Jun 9 22:25:32 1993 david> jlt
450 david says "jlt"
451 Don says "That should have said percent r works by the way. But the precent didn;t show up."
452 Christine says "It looks very good, Don."
453 Christine says "I thought later that the posters should be more subtle and just have apicture that later ties in with what they are talking
454 Christine says "Sorry to microedit."
455 Christine says "I would change the last sentence to introduce the child in the story."
456 david says "Black and white, a picture of the burner with a crossed out circle (international no)"
457 Don says "I didn't do qnything after the paragraph break."
458 david says "good point about the child. I do like getting it on with the character right away."
459 Don says "I like that, David."
460 Christine says "Yes, it still needs work because it sounds too much like stage directions."
461 david says "getting it on, or the poster?"
462 Don says "Either one...but I was talking about the poster."
463 david smiles.
464 david says "Amazing how long it takes to get 2 draft paragraphs..."
521 Don says "O.K., I tried to work in the girl. Sorry if I've cut too much. Someone else take over paragraph 2."
522 Don says "jlt"
523 Jim says "jlp"
524 david says "jlt"
525 Christine says "jlt"
531 Christine says "Excellent, Don!"
532 Christine says "I think you caught the jist of it right away."
535 david says "Nice work Don."
536 Don says "Does someone want to edit that?"
537 david says "ok."
538 Christine says "I don't think it neneds editing."
539 Christine says "I think we need the next paragraph."
540 david says "I'd tend to agree."