Appendix 8: Text Events encoded as Replanning - Text Making


142 david says "He could order the food as he walks through the line. I did not do a good job of showing the cafeteria nature of the whole thing."
146 david says "But fiction need not mimick RL, eh? :-)"
147 Don says "God, I hope not."
166 david says "Perhaps Riverside should become Hillside, just to do the Blackbear thing."
167 Don nods, "Hillside sounds good.
168 david says "Fitzgerald wrote about Blackbear Lake, really White Bear Lake."
170 Christine says "David, were you able to keep up with te character descriptions we began?"
171 david says "We could have the Old Hillside Cafe instead of The New Riverside Cafe."
172 Don says "That sounds better to me."
225 Don says "How about beginning with the man in his car...hot and tired from a long ride from somewhere to Boulder. He sees the cafe and decides to talke a short break. He pulls his new (What wS the hot car at that time?) into the perking lot, the crunch of tires over pebbles, and opens the door."
226 david nods.
229 Christine says "How about a song he hears on the radio before he gets there that evokes the time before."
230 Don says "Okay...he's listening to golden oldies..."
231 Christine says ""Got to get back to the garden."
232 david turns the radio to 101.3 for that detail of real life...
233 Don says "Something by the Band?"
234 Don says "Not too obvious, though."
235 david likes the gardner, as in get back to...
237 david er, garden. Maybe too obvious, but he can focus his meditations on that...
238 david says "wanting to get himself back, where did it go wrong... ew. maudlin shit..."
239 Don says "What's he like I wonder...used to be inbto radical politics? Has a wide at home and two kids of his own? Beginning to grow a bit thick around the waist?"
292 Don says "Ket's start in the cafe then...and dreop the drive up."
293 david says "I thought we began with a communal cafe--she can't own a commune"
321 Don says "So he walks in and sees the scene you've drawn...goes through the cafeteria line and spots his old girlfriend?"
387 Don says "Is there a way to break the paragraph in half?"
391 Christine says "I think I would have started it like this: The dirctions she had given him were clearn enough. Just as he turned off the freeway exit to the frontage road, the musci on the radio began to play ...."
446 Don says "Take a look...I wanted to start with him, instead of the description.
447 works by the way."
453 Christine says "I thought later that the posters should be more subtle and just have apicture that later ties in with what they are talking about."
455 Christine says "I would change the last sentence to introduce the child in the story."
456 david says "Black and white, a picture of the burner with a crossed out circle (international no)"
458 david says "good point about the child. I do like getting it on with the character right away."
460 Christine says "Yes, it still needs work because it sounds too much like stage directions."
462 Don says "Either one...but I was talking about the poster."
476 Christine says "I'd like to get all this exposition out of the way right away."
477 Christine says "I think there has to be a central incident to the whole thing right there in the cafe."
478 Christine says "that shows how radically different their vantage points are."
479 Christine says "I read too much Aristotle in my yourth."
483 Christine says "But gently. Never say what he means, never mean what he says."